I’m just going to skip over the part where I apologize (to whom? for what?) for not having put out a newsletter in over two months, and go straight to the part where I share that I recently started my DREAM JOB.
Scratch that. Rewind. I started working for Angela Tucker at The Adopted Life, which is better than my dream job because it’s real.
And because I’m a little tired as I write this and the muses are not singing in me tonight - I am going to format this newsletter as a FAQ Page and hope it hits.
Q: Arianne - riddle me this - didn’t you leave your 13-year career as an English teacher to devote yourself full-time to mothering the joyful, exuberant Katherine?
A: Yes. Yes, I did. And this new job still allows me to do that. Let’s just say I still devote about 85% of my waking hours to the important work of motherhood. This job, however, also offers me the opportunity to feel joy, satisfaction, and accomplishment outside of motherhood - while helping to provide for my family AND work for a small business that has directly impacted my daughter’s life and the lives of so many other adoptees.
Q: We heard you resigned from a tenured position in a high-paying school district where you could have retired comfortably before the age of 60 … to work part-time as an assistant? Is that true?
A: Well that’s not WHY I resigned (remember wanting to be Katherine’s primary caregiver - which is code for playing with her all day), but yeah. And I’m actually an executive assistant. And I love it.
Q: Cool cool cool. So what’s The Adopted Life?
A: I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. The Adopted Life was founded by Angela Tucker. Angela is a Black woman and a transracial adoptee. A transracial adoptee is someone who is adopted into a family whose race differs from their own. Like Katherine, for example! Angela’s search for her biological parents is documented in the film, CLOSURE. Highly recommend watching it - it’s on Amazon Prime.
Anyway, Angela spent the beginning of her career working in child welfare at different agencies and organizations, all the while blogging about her experience as a transracial adoptee. Eventually the blog turned into a small business, The Adopted Life, which revolves mostly around consulting and mentoring. Angela also hosts her own podcast, The Adoptee Next Door. She is the host of Treehouse Productions’ INNOVATE! Podcast. She is a mentor and advisor to hundreds of adoptees worldwide. She runs workshops for adoptive parents and adoption professionals. She serves as a Sensitivity Consultant on Broadway’s Jagged Little Pill and NBC’s show, This Is Us. She is in the process of starting a nonprofit called Adoptee Mentoring Society. She is also finishing up the second draft of her first book, which is scheduled for publication in the spring of 2023 (Beacon Press). So yeah - you could say she needs an executive assistant. (“Enter me” …sung like the line in Hamilton). To be her teammate in all of this is an honor. It is a privilege. It is exciting. It is challenging. It is joyful. It is important. And I love it.
Q: Just a little confused to see YOU referring to an executive assistant as your “dream job.” Care to comment?
A: Not to be a stickler, but if you read the title correctly, I said this is better than my dream job. But I know what you’re getting at. For a long time I thought my dream job was being famous. I really did. You can ask anybody who has known me for longer than 5 years. I’ve wanted to be a singer, an actress, a talkshow host, a comedian, an author, or nearly anything with the word “famous” in front of it. Here’s what’s interesting. I still love to sing and act and talk and make people laugh and write - but I no longer feel the desire to be famous anymore. Ok maybe I still desire it just a little bit (is that a Pisces thing? I swear it’s a Pisces thing.) The reality is, I always wanted to be the “star of the show” or whatever the equivalent of that might be in any other realm of life. What changed then? Well, I know a lot of people don’t want to hear it or don’t understand it, but the work I’ve put into understanding white supremacy has led me to unpack A LOT regarding those desires. I’ve started to divest from whiteness in many ways and to stop centering myself. One way to do both of those things is by getting over this idea of myself as a potential “star.” Especially as a white adoptive mom to a Black daughter, I have learned how important it is to always always always put Katherine first and have her, her best interest, and eventually her voice be at the center of our lives as parents. So, yeah, you could say that the fact that this job - where I work in a support role at an adoptee-centered company that is owned by a Black, transracial adoptee who is doing incredibly important work - nearly fell into my lap a little over a month ago IS EVEN BETTER THAN A DREAM. It’s what I am meant to be doing right now. Sorry to be sappy about it, but that’s just how I feel.
Q; Starting a new job huh? bUt aReN’t yOu AnXiOuS!?!?!
A: Shhhhhh - I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll just say this. I can be anxious AND excited AND it’s all good :)
xoxo,
Ari
CONGRATULATIONS! Thank you for sharing all of this 🙏