Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

A cliché "new year, new me" blog post.

I’m not even sure where to begin. It’s been over a year since I last posted. I have at least five different posts saved in my drafts. None finished. None particularly worth revisiting. So a girl has to wonder. Do I still have an audience?

In true Arianne fashion, I have the itch to quit. To destroy any evidence that The Always Anxious Newsletter ever existed, attempt to reinvent myself and start anew. How many of you have known me through all five of my Instagram accounts? All four of my blogs? My brief stint on TikTok?

I’m a creator. My mind is always going. I have a vivid imagination and a pretty good sense of humor. Everything around me is inspiration for content. I love to write things that will resonate with people and make them feel seen. I’m also a little lazy and insecure. I wish I was a perfectionist sometimes. Instead I tend to dive in and share things that aren’t polished and then I sit around and assume everyone thinks I’m cringe.

All this to say, my New Year’s resolution is to write more. So here I am. I’m also writing a lot in Google Docs and not sharing it with the world. Writing just for me :)

But I also love writing for you, whoever you are. And I genuinely would love to know if there is still an interest in reading my quips and musings on mental health, parenthood, relationships, and such.

Before you decide whether you’re going to unsubscribe or not, I’ll leave you with something a bit more insightful and on brand. 2024 was a pretty great year for my mental health. Sure, the same things (my husband traveling, sickness, social media) still triggered my anxiety and OCD, but it is a lot easier for me to redirect my thoughts, remind myself that anxiety isn’t inherently bad and I can say “hello old friend” when it shows up and then politely ask it to pound sand. I’m also able to remain a bit more present and grounded, even when triggered, and not spiral. I attribute this to a few things.

1) I upped my dose of Lexapro

2) I haven’t had so much as a sip of alcohol since Dec 24, 2023 - yep that’s over a year sober

3) I found a job that is a truly great fit

4) I’m spending way more time reading than I am watching TV or scrolling on social media

It feels like there should be a 5, but there is no 5. Or at least there is no five that I can articulate quite yet. 5 is more of an overall essence or state of being. It’s like I’ve “level-ed up” in some way, reached a new phase of enlightenment or “IDGAF”-ness, not quite sure which.

If you want to hear about it AND MORE, do kindly leave me a comment or shoot me a message so that I know that revisiting the old substack hasn’t been entirely in vain.

xo,

A

My 2024 Reading List